Entry Ten:

Entry Ten:

            Jackie was lifted from her dark thoughts when a guard opened the door to the hospital room and her mother was escorted inside. Her mother was wearing the same style of outfit she preferred, which was a white business dress with no sleeves, a pillbox hat, heels and elbow-length gloves to match. She was carrying a small purse in her hand. She had taken off her makeup, and was looking older than Jackie ever remembered her looking. She could see the crow’s feet and laugh lines. Her hair mousy-brown hair was pulled back into a tight bun at the nape of her neck, but there were grey hairs showing. She stood tall and straight, but she was diminutive compared to her daughter.

            Jackie rose to her feet somewhat unsteadily and gave an informal curtsey to her mother, as she had been trained to do as she was old enough to walk. For a moment, her mother merely stood there and looked her daughter over. They had barley seen each other during the past few months and they had spoken even less. Jackie had dyed her hair since their last encounter and she had received the gash across her face from her errant brother. A bandage had been attached to her face, but the wound was superficial.

            “Where are the nurses?” she asked as way of a greeting.

            They had a private room at the hospital, which was only fitting as their family had paid for the hospital itself. The entire room was done in a mosaic tile that her grandfather had favoured using mostly cream colours and violet. A similar motif could be found at the palace itself.

            “Tending to the other patients,” Jackie explained in a low voice as she fixed her hair. “They’re a little short staffed because of the attack. Dr.Ross is in the other room going over his file. No one here has ever had to treat a Generate before and they’re a little confused about his readings. He’s in stable condition. They gave him something for the pain, and he keeps drifting in and out of sleep. He has a slight fever, but his hear beat is strong. He’s weak when he talks and I can’t quite make out what he’s saying.”

            Victor was laid out on a down-covered bed with the remainder of his injured arm bandaged and propped up in the air. He was breathing slowly into a mask placed over his mouth. A monitor nearby kept a steady reading of his vitals. He was sleeping soundly and hadn’t stirred when the door opened.

            The Queen went to her husband’s bedside and he daughter obediently pulled up a chair for her to sit in. She remained standing while her mother put her hand over her husband’s remaining hand, which had several tubes sticking out of it. “Vic, can you hear me?” she was the only one who called him Vic, which he hated. “It’s me.”

            His eyes fluttered open slowly, but he didn’t focus on anything. He looked up at the mural on the ceiling of a meadow clearing. She sat in silence like that for a while, but Victor drifted back into sleep.

            “What did he say?” her mother asked her.

            “The doctor? He said that he expects Victor to make a full recovery. For now he just needs his bedrest. They didn’t even have to operate on his arm,” Jackie explained.

            “I meant your brother,” she clarified. “What did Conner have to say?”

            “I…” Jackie shook his head. “He was erratic.”

            “What did he say?” she pressed her a little more sternly.

            “What does it matter?” Jackie grew defiant. “He’s a madman, mother, who speaks only in lies.”

            “He’s your brother,” the Queen fixed her with her eyes.

            “Half-brother,” Jackie corrected him. “If that. I’ve disowned him, mother. Perhaps now you’ll do the same.”

            “Am I to give up on my son?” she asked her. “Then what of my daughter?”

            “What are you saying?” Jackie was horrified. “I’ve fought for this country, not against it like that terrorist.”

            “I have two children,” she told her, “and neither is fit for the throne. Can you imagine my shame?”

            “Your shame?” Jackie’s mouth was slack. “Mother, I know you’re upset, but listen to yourself.”

            “No, it’s time. You’ve gone too far with your dalliances. I could ignore the tabloids so long as I didn’t read them, but now your face is everywhere. You think I didn’t hear about your exploits at home while I was away? I was told you shot up a police station.”

            “That’s being too dramatic,” Jackie protested. “All I did was fire off a gun.”

            “And you think that’s becoming of a future Queen? Jackeline, my husband and your father is lying on this bed. His arm is missing. Who led him to this?” she held up her hand inquisitively after sweeping it over the form of her husband.

            “This isn’t my fault,” Jackie insisted, although deep inside she felt guilty and her voice faltered.

            “Then whose is it? Is it that boy you were with? What is his name? Why was he with you?” she demanded.

            “He’s Captain Gavin Dales,” she explained. “He came to help rescue our father, along with his crew.”

            “Rescue? You mean steal him from me. Your father always told me that the Corporation might come back for him and that he could be tried for abandoning his duties,” she explained, “and you were helping him? Are you that eager to be rid of him?”

            “It’s not like that,” Jackie tried to reassure her. “Gavin only wants to help us. It’s hard to explain.”

            “Donovan was in the Corporation with your father, just like this Gavin Dales, and look how that turned out,” she said as she gave Victor’s hand a squeeze. Victor murmured and stirred before falling back to sleep.  The Queen listened to Victor intently, but he didn’t make another sound. “I saw what the news had to say about this Gavin. That he’s your new boy toy,” the Queen said with disgust in a lower voice.

            “He’s just a friend,” Jackie insisted without much conviction.

            “Moriss is outside that door and she has something different to say. She says you’ve been sneaking around with him inside the palace. My own home. You’ve disgraced yourself,” she claimed.

            “That’s enough!” Jackie snapped. “I don’t have to listen to this nonsense from you. I don’t know what Gavin and I have, but it’s a lot healthier than the other relationships I’ve been in, including my relationship with you. If you don’t like the way I’ve been acting, then disown me. All I ask if that you do it to Conner first.” Her bravado faltered at the end and she crossed her arms and looked away from her mother sullenly.

            The Queen merely looked at Jackie for a long while before turning her attention back to Victor. “You never answered my question. What did Conner say?”

            Jackie shook her head once more. “Something about a key to everything and dad’s hand. I didn’t understand. I thought he was going to kill me and father both. I don’t understand why he didn’t.”

            “He loves you,” her mother said.

            “That’s impossible,” Jackie told her. “He doesn’t understand love. I think he inherited that from you.”

            “I know what love is,” she caressed her father’s hand, “more than you’ll ever know.”

            Jackie took a deep breath. “Did you visit me?”

            “Did I what?” the Queen replied.

            “When I was shot down. Did you visit me in the hospital? Father told me you stood by my bedside, but I don’t remember ever hearing your voice. Did you visit me?” Jackie fidgeted by tapping her finger on her bicep.

            “No,” the Queen admitted without looking at her.

            Jackie couldn’t bear it anymore and she fled the room with what little composure she had. Moriss was waiting outside with the guards. She stood at attention when she saw the door open. The guards bowed as customary. Jackie looked up and down the hall, not remembering which direction to take. “I can’t be here,” she said when her eyes finally settled on Moriss. She adjusted her hair out of habit and recalled she didn’t have a vehicle with her. “Drive me home.”

            Moriss gave her a sympathetic look and led her down the hall.

            “Can we talk?” Deborah asked Kylie as she confronted her in front of the refrigerator in the kitchen. The others had already eaten breakfast while Kylie remained in her bedroom preparing. She was holding a tray of butter and a muffin she had already taken a bite out of.

            “We’re talking now,” Kylie pointed out as she used her hip to close the fridge. She went over to the marble counter and spread butter on her muffin. Deborah watched her intently, which caused Kylie some irritation. “What is it?” she practically slammed her knife down on the counter.

            “These weapons of yours,” Deborah mentioned, “where did they come from?”

            “From the Armoury,” Kylie shrugged. “Where else would I find guns?”

            “The Armoury?” Deborah nodded slowly, making it apparent she didn’t believe her. “So if you requisitioned them from the Armoury, why weren’t they on the ship manifest?”

            “I didn’t write the ship manifest,” Kylie explained. “With the staffing shortages, it’s possible there was an oversight.”

            “I doubt that,” Deborah claimed as she leaned on the counter. “You smuggled those on board. With how you were bragging to us about the amount of firepower you were packing, that must have taken some effort. Did you have to pay off customs?”

            “Have you been talking with Gavin?” Kylie bit into her muffin and reached for another.

            Deborah wouldn’t say. Instead, she tugged on the cloak Kylie was wearing. Kylie batted her hand away irritably. “You’re certainly packing on the pounds,” she said. “It’s hard to tell sometimes with this ridiculous thing you’re wearing, but I’ve seen you sneak in here at night.”

            “I think I might break that pretty little nose of yours,” Kylie contemplated.

            “How many months?” Deborah said evenly.

            “How many months?” Kylie repeated.

            “How far are you along?” Deborah asked more directly.

            “I’m going to kill Gavin,” Kylie crumbled the last of the muffin she was holding, then looked at the fresh one and took a bite.

            “He didn’t have to tell me and he didn’t,” Deborah told her. “I can tell by your belly. That outfit of yours is a bit snug, after all. How much longer did you think you could hide it? Is that why you were so desperate?”

            Kylie fumed, but said nothing.

            “How did you do it?” Deborah asked after a staring match.

            “I’m not going to explain the birds and bees to you,” Kylie gave a wry smile.

            “Not that,” Deborah almost blushed. “No, how did you manage? We’re supposed to have been born sterile.”

            “Not all of us,” Kylie said. “It depends on your donor, but you’re mainly right. Only a few of us sneak through. There’s other ways aside from being born. If you’re as smart as you’re pretending to be, then you already know who the father is. I made him get the procedure, although he was reluctant. He wanted children, but he was worried about what it would do to our careers. This was going to be my big surprise, and now I’m stuck with a baby he doesn’t want,” she put her hand over her stomach. “That’s why I want the Aurora. It’s better if I leave and he never finds out.”

            “You can’t go back to Last Point,” Deborah told her. “Do you know what they’ll do if they find out?”

            “You have far too much respect for the people upstairs. They’re not really the ones running things on Last Point. If you think my affair was scandalous, then you’d be shocked to find out what else is going on behind the curtain. There’s gambling, embezzlement, smuggling, piracy, booze, drugs and human trafficking, to name a few vices. At the end of the universe, you can get away with pretty much anything. There has even been a few murders, although everything’s been kept quiet. It wouldn’t do for that news to leak and ruin the Corporation’s stellar image. Oh,” she noticed Deborah’s expression, “did I shock you?” Don’t be so naïve. The people you’re working for are far from Saints. You’re lucky to have found this world. It’s a paradise compared to what was waiting for you on Last Point. In my opinion, a pretty little thing like you wouldn’t have made it to retirement. You ask too many questions,” she poured herself a glass of juice from a type of fruit that only grew on New Gaia resembling an apple but tasting nothing like it.

            “I’m telling you this because you would have found out on your own. Take Donovan for example. When I knew him, he was perfectly boring. He always obeyed orders and took after Captain Victor. He never stood out in the crowd, but he was always a part of it. People liked him. He knew about me and Victor too and he approved of us. He helped us keep our secret going. Then for some reason he found himself stranded here and he changed. I don’t know what would have pushed him over the edge, and I’m not going to speculate. He killed his closest friends, his family, and he joined the terrorists. Over what?” she grew suddenly heated. “Sorry, but it hurts. Weeks ago, Donovan was a friend of mine. I was immensely relieved to see he survived the attack, but my mind was focused in on Victor. I never could have suspected what he’d do. Now, he’s dead, and he deserves it, but still it’s like a little piece of my life has fallen away. This was going to be my greatest moment of hope, and now I’m left with nothing but this baby inside of me. I suppose that will have to be enough. I have to start thinking like a mother and acting like one, but I have to seclude myself somewhere to do it. The scandal of me having this child would destroy Victor and his family, and that’s the last thing I want to do.” She put her hand over his mouth. “I keep thinking of Victor in a hospital bed. I don’t want to see him like that, but I want to be there for him. They won’t let me,” she shook her head. “I envy you, Deborah. You’re new, you’re fresh and you’re eager. My whole life feels like it’s behind me.”

            “I don’t know what to tell you,” Deborah said softly. “I came in here with accusations, but I never thought about how hard all this must be for you. It was devastating enough being woken up to find the organization I was created for was on the brink of destruction.”

            “Let it fall,” Kylie shrugged and poured herself another glass. “Forget I said that,” she looked at Deborah out of the corner of her eye as she slammed her glass down. “Forget I said any of this, or at least don’t let the word spread around. I have something of a reputation to uphold, even if it’s all going to rot in a few months. I hope I have some of your trust. It occurs to me that if we ever make it back to Last Point, you’re in a position to see me get strung up. Can I make a bargain with you? We’re traders by nature, after all.”

            “I’m not so sure,” Deborah was uncomfortable and rubbed her arms.

            “Relax, I’m not going to screw you over,” Kylie assured her. She reached out and put her hand over Deborah’s stomach. “This is empty. For you, it’s always going to be that way.” She grabbed Deborah by the hand, which gave her a start, and put it over her own stomach. “Now feel this. Can you feel the heart beat? It’s in there somewhere. If you’re good to me, that can be inside of you. I know people who can perform the procedure. There’s a few on Last Point that will do it if the price is right, and I know a few other places, some of which are not even in the same universe as our own. I can make arrangements. I can wet hands. Even if we never make it back, I have the basics recorded on my wrist unit. We could adapt our technology and do it here on New Gaia. You could be a complete woman, Debbie,” it was the first time she’d ever been called Debbie. “You could start your own family. You could become a mother. Think about it.”

            “I…” Deborah cleared her throat. “I’d like that. I want to feel human inside,” she said in a rush.

            “I can make it happen,” Kylie cupped her chin. “Do you like my brother?” she asked, and then gave a laugh when Deborah shied away. “Pity, he seems to like this grubby Princess of his. You two would look so cute together. Imagine what your babies would look like.”

            “Stop it,” Deborah pleaded.

            “I’m only teasing,” Kylie laughed again. “You deserve more for the position you’ve put me in, but you’re better off an ally than an enemy of mine. Remember that. When my tongue doesn’t cut, I have a knife in my boot that will,” she leaned in close until their foreheads were almost touching. She stopped suddenly and turned to see Lance walking by in the hallway. He was oblivious to them. “He’s cute too, in a muscular sort of way,” she grinned devilishly at Deborah who shrank from her. “All I’m saying is that you’re a pretty girl with prospects. Play your cards right and that will take you far. Be friends with me, and you’ll be a complete woman.”

            Deborah thought for a long time. “You’re nothing like Gavin,” she said at last. “Isn’t that odd? You look like you could be the same person. The exact same,” she pressed.

            Kylie held up her hands. “You’re good,” she admitted. “Too good for your own good. Gavin and I are closer than you’d think, or are you telling me you think a bit closer?”

            “I’m not saying anything else,” Deborah told her, “other than I ran a D.N.A. scan on you two with the equipment you had us pack along.” She stood a bit straighter and put her hands on her hips.

            Kylie paled a little, so her freckles showed a bit more prominently. “What did you find?” she asked, cocking her head to the side.

            “Enough,” Deborah shifted her hips. “Let’s just say you’d better be right about your promises, Kylie, and that I don’t take kindly to threats. I’m nobody’s fool, least of all yours. If you want to keep secrets, that’s fine with me. Just don’t pretend as if they’re secret to me,” with that she walked out of the kitchen triumphantly, leaving Kylie to contemplate her position.

            Gavin was woken up by the weight shifting on his bed. He had been dreaming that he was flying Jackie’s hoverbike, with her behind him on the seat with her hands around his chest squeezing tight. He had been soaring high over the city, looking down on everything as the sun shone in the distance. Everything was tinged by that strange purple haze of the sky. He’d been free and content.

He turned over and saw Jackie sitting next to him on the edge of the bed. He was still fully dressed save for his boots and jacket, as he had learned that his clothes never needed to be washed, save for being wiped down. He propped himself up on his elbows and sat up. It was the middle of the day and he had gone down for a nap after his restless night. She put her hand over his. “Jackie, are you alright? I wanted to visit you at the hospital, but they wouldn’t let me come,” he explained as he rubbed sleep from his eyes. He felt much better after a short rest and his wounds didn’t hurt as much. Even the pain in his ankle had faded.

            “I was worried about you too,” she admitted. “I never really saw what happened to you after the explosion.” She took note of the numerous bandages on his face. The durable fabric of his clothes had helped shield him from most of the shrapnel and the heat. A solider next to him at the scene had been killed by a flying shard of glass.

            Gavin looked at the bandage across her face, which she was trying to conceal by letting her blue-dyed hair fall down over her eyes. “How’s your father?” he asked.

            “Well enough, considering,” Jackie shrugged and picked at imaginary fluff off of the covers he lay on.

            “I’m sorry about getting in the way back there,” Gavin admitted. “I thought I was saving you. I nearly got myself killed.”

            “You probably saved my life,” Jackie sighed. Gavin had carefully put away the pictures of her brother into drawers and she noticed their absence but said nothing.

            “I keep trying to think that if I hadn’t interfered that maybe your father might not be in the hospital now,” Gavin shook his head at himself.

            “I’m still surprised we’re even alive. Conner hated my father. I think that hatred drove him to become what he is today,” Jackie said as she looked at a blank spot on a wall where a picture had hung. “I can’t figure out why he let him live.”

            “I know why he took your father’s arm,” Gavin hastened to explain. “The wrist unit controls the locks on the Aurora. If he has it, he can steal our ship.”

            “Is that why?” Jackie mused to herself as she gingerly touched her bandage. “Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe he’ll fly far away from here and never come home. Maybe he’ll find happiness out there in the stars. I’m being silly, though. I know he’ll use it to kill more innocent people.”

            “The President gave us clearance to chase after him,” Gavin explained. “There’s a shuttle coming to pick us up and take us to the Aurora. We’re hoping to get there before he can.”

            “Is there room for one more?” Jackie asked him.

            “Haven’t I got you in enough trouble as it is?” Gavin asked her.

            “You didn’t do anything. I’m the one who told me father, knowing he’d go off half-cocked. I never expected us to run into Conner this far into the city, but it’s not your fault either. Stop trying to apologize to me when you’ve done nothing wrong. As for me, I need to go after Conner. I need to see him face some measure of justice, even if I’m the one that has to bring it to him.”

            “You could get yourself killed,” Gavin argued. “I’m not entirely fond of our chances, either. We haven’t figured out a way to neutralize his armour, and that makes us vulnerable.”

            “We’ll think of something.” Jackie sounded doubtful. “Thank you, by the way.”

            “For what?” Gavin asked her.

            “For fighting for me,” she said. “This isn’t your battle.”

            “No, it’s really not,” Gavin admitted, “but I don’t want anything to happen to you. Maybe that’s why it’s best if you don’t come.”

            “I’m coming,” she insisted. “That’s a royal order. Besides, I can’t stay here.”

            “Why is that?” Gavin asked.

            “I don’t want to get into it right now,” she chewed on her finger. “If you have the Aurora, will you leave?”

            “We don’t know how to get home,” Gavin said. “I wouldn’t leave just yet in any event,”

            “Why is that?” Jackie asked him.

            “I don’t really know how to explain it,” Gavin said sheepishly.

            “Is it… that you don’t want to leave me?” Jackie prompted him hopefully.

            “I suppose that might have something to do with it,” Gavin said evasively.

            “Are you in love with me, Gavin?” Jackie asked him directly.

            Gavin stared blankly for a second, then concluded, “I don’t know enough about love to answer that. All I know is that I care about you deeply.”

            Jackie stared back at him. “I’d come with you, if you wanted to leave,” she said. “For a while, at least. I’ve always wanted to fly out into space. Back when I was flying, I always thought how frustrating it was to reach out the heavens and not be able to escape. I wanted to go beyond the sky and leave all this petty fighting behind. I can’t leave, though. I’m the heir, unless my mother disowns me.”

            “I never said I was leaving,” Gavin reminded her. “I have a job here and I was ordered to see it through.”

            “You’re not convincing in the slightest,” Jackie admonished him with a coy smile. She kicked her legs on the side of the bed.

            “You’re right,” Gavin hung his head in defeat. “I have all these programs in my head telling me what to do and who to be, and I can’t even listen to them. I don’t know who Gavin Dales is, or if he’s even real. I feel like I’m stringing everyone along. My crew downstairs listen to me because I was given the title of Captain, but I’ve never done a single thing to earn their trust or to gain their loyalty. I know they’re as lost as me, though, and that my mistakes can hurt them in their faith. My mind keeps going over how Conner took that gun of his and ran it over your face,” he traced the air in front of her fresh scar, “your beautiful, beautiful face.” Jackie tightened her lips at his words. “He could have killed you and I was helpless to do anything about it. He tossed me aside like a ragdoll,” he said emphatically. “I think he tried to kill me and didn’t even bother to look to see if he did the job right. He shot the wall right where I was and I would have died if he’d been aiming properly. That’s how little I am, but all these people are depending on me to be something I’m not.”

            “You’re something, Gavin,” Jackie told him. She reached out and put her hands through his hair, which was still singed from the explosion. She held a lock of his orange hair in her hands and looked at it carefully. “You’re something to me.”

            “What am I?” Gavin implored. “I have all this information and thoughts running through my head and I don’t know what do with half of it. I know the annual gross national income for a country on a planet in my universe I’ll never visit. I think I could fly the Aurora, if it ever had the chance. I know there’s a little switch in the cockpit panel that does absolutely nothing. I mean literally, it does nothing,” he made a gesture by compressing his index finger and thumb and flicking his wrist. “It’s not even hooked up. They designed and installed it for a long-range model they never completed. Why do I know that? For some reason too, I feel like stuffing my face with muffins.”

            “Are you cracking up on me?” Jackie didn’t know if she should laugh or be concerned.

            “I shouldn’t worry you like that,” Gavin apologized. “Sorry, but it feels like I’ve lived years in the space of days. Even being gone from you for a few hours felt like years,” he reached out and put his hand over hers.

            Jackie squeezed back. “So you missed me?”

            “I did,” Gavin nodded.

            Jackie leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. Gavin closed his eyes while Jackie left hers half-open. When she pulled back, she said, “Thank you. I think I missed you too.” After a moment, she realized, “That was your first kiss, wasn’t it?”

            “Yes,” Gavin said breathlessly.

            “Well there’s plenty more where that came from,” Jackie beamed at him.